孩子通過自律成為自我的創(chuàng)造者。控制性的紀(jì)律只會讓孩子變得依賴于決定他們價值的大人。為了幫助孩子達(dá)到自律，成人需要：

1. 理解獲得自律需要自由；

2.明白孩子在自律過程中要經(jīng)歷的階段；

3.為孩子提供必要和適當(dāng)?shù)闹笇?dǎo)；

4.知道如何準(zhǔn)備適齡的環(huán)境。

父母、老師和其他大人都理解用紀(jì)律教育孩子的必要性。紀(jì)律尤指成人為了讓孩子變得聽話而必須采取的行為。基于這樣的理解，成人需要保持持續(xù)警覺。在孩子們表現(xiàn)好的時候給予獎勵，或者為了控制他們的錯誤想法和沖動行為而施以懲罰。如果大人成功了，那么這些受紀(jì)律約束的孩子就會變成有道德、負(fù)責(zé)任的好公民。

Parents, teachers, and other adults understand the necessity for disciplining children. Discipline typically refers to what adults must do if children are to become obedient. Adults, according to this understanding, must be consistently vigilant. Reward children when they are good. Otherwise, punish children to control their wrongful impulses and desires. If adults are successful, disciplined children should become morally ethical and responsible citizens.

但是，在實踐當(dāng)中，大人掌管一切的方法會有問題。大人們沒法始終如一地給予獎勵，事實上，這么做會適得其反，因為當(dāng)孩子的基本需求被滿足后，他們就失去了好好表現(xiàn)獲得獎勵的動力；同樣，對于不好的行為，大人們也無法始終如一地給予懲罰，或許這也是樁幸事，因為時間久了，受懲罰的孩子會變得困惑、生氣、屈從，自信心和自尊心也會受到傷害。控制性的紀(jì)律會讓孩子變得依賴于決定他們價值的大人。

In practice, however, the adult-in-control approach is problematic. Adults simply cannot consistently give out rewards. In fact, it is actually counterproductive to do this. Children stop behaving for rewards once their basic needs are fulfilled. Similarly, adults cannot consistently punish bad behavior. Perhaps this is a blessing because over time, punished children become confused and angry. They become passively compliant, and their self-confidence and self-esteem suffers. Discipline as control leads children to become co-dependent on others who decide their worth.

另一種觀點(diǎn)是將孩子的自律看作一種成就。大人們習(xí)慣這么說：我的紀(jì)律在起作用了；我的紀(jì)律是藝術(shù)，是科學(xué)；多年的學(xué)習(xí)和實踐才能形成紀(jì)律。高超的匠人懂得運(yùn)用紀(jì)律標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，他們會革新和創(chuàng)造新的實踐和紀(jì)律方法。

An alternative is to recognize discipline as an achievement. Adults used to say, for example, my discipline is woodworking; my discipline is the arts or science. Years of study and practice are required to achieve a discipline. A master craftsperson is someone who knows and implements the standard practices of her or his discipline. A master craftsperson can innovate and create new practices and new disciplines.

在這種觀點(diǎn)中，我們理解孩子不斷處于一個自我創(chuàng)造的過程，也就是說，變得自律是孩子的一種個人成就，就像學(xué)會說話和走路，發(fā)展協(xié)調(diào)的動作技能和理解能力，掌握社交和懂得奉獻(xiàn)也是孩子取得的個人成就一樣。瑪麗亞·蒙特梭利認(rèn)為：孩子們通過自律成為自我的創(chuàng)造者。

In this view, we understand children engage constantly in self-creation. That is, becoming disciplined is a child's personal accomplishment. So too are learning to speak and walk, developing coordinated movements and comprehension, and being able to socialize and contribute. The Italian physician and educator Dr. Maria Montessori (1870-1952) held children in high esteem as creators of themselves through self discipline.

“（孩子）有能力發(fā)展成為完整的人，他將自己創(chuàng)造成能在環(huán)境中自我定位的人。沒有語言，他學(xué)會說話；沒有智力，他構(gòu)建智力；他通過協(xié)調(diào)自己的動作來學(xué)會走路；他變得對事情感興趣。沒有什么是本來就存在的，一切都是他自己構(gòu)建的，在孩子身上我們看到了創(chuàng)造的神奇和不可思議之處。”

"[The child] has the power to develop everything which is man. He creates a being who can orient himself in the environment. Without language, he learns to speak; without intelligence, he constructs it; he coordinates his movements and learns to walk; he becomes interested in things. Nothing existed. Everything has been constructed by him. In him we are confronted by the mysterious, miraculous fact of creation."

這項“神奇的、不可思議的創(chuàng)造”是每個孩子自我發(fā)展的內(nèi)在計劃，是他們成長的驅(qū)動力。令人驚訝的是，沒有兩個孩子會有同樣的成長軌跡或是同樣的發(fā)展節(jié)奏，每個孩子都是獨(dú)一無二的。但是，孩子們不會有意識地認(rèn)識自我，他們還不會明確地表達(dá)自己的需求。蒙特梭利將這些稱作是孩子的“秘密”，這個秘密是“他們自我成長的原則，他們無法將其解釋給他人……” 去適當(dāng)?shù)嘏囵B(yǎng)和指導(dǎo)對自己的內(nèi)在成長計劃無意識的孩子。在這種理念中，紀(jì)律不是管教，我們不“管教”孩子，它是一種成就，是孩子開心地呼喊“我能做到”的獨(dú)立宣言。

The "mysterious, miraculous fact of creation" is each child's inner plan of self-development which propels them to become adults. Remarkably, no two children develop in the same way or in the same time; each child is unique. However, children are not consciously aware of themselves; they are unable to articulate their inner needs. These are, Montessori wrote, the child's "secret". This secret "is the principle of their own growth which they cannot possibly explain to anyone ...." to appropriately nurture and guide the child who is never conscious of her or his inner plan for growth. Discipline in this understanding is not a verb. We do not discipline children. Discipline is an achievement; discipline is a celebration of independence heard in the joyful cry of the child who proclaims, "I can do it!"

孩子們自然而然地工作，不斷努力變得自律。孩子和成人的工作目的不同，他們以過程為導(dǎo)向，是一個完善自己，通過不斷成長蛻變的過程；成人工作則是為了生產(chǎn)，實現(xiàn)外部目的，成人是以產(chǎn)出和結(jié)果為導(dǎo)向的。工作會讓孩子充滿活力。蒙特梭利發(fā)現(xiàn)，孩子不同于成人，他們會在工作中變得精神煥發(fā)。

Children work naturally and unceasingly to become self-disciplined. A child's purposes for work differ from those of an adult. The child is oriented to process, to the process of perfecting themselves and becoming an adult through constant growth. Adults work to produce and accomplish external purposes; adults are product- or result-oriented. A child is energized by work; unlike an adult, Montessori discovered, a child is refreshed by work.

“孩子擁有一種不同于成人的驅(qū)動力。成人總是會受外部動機(jī)的驅(qū)動，這些需要他的奮力付出和做出犧牲……孩子則不同，他們不會因為費(fèi)力做事而感到厭煩。孩子們通過工作來獲得成長，所產(chǎn)生的結(jié)果是，他的工作會增加他的活力。”

"A child possesses a driving force that is different from that of an adult. The adult always acts for some external motive that demands his strenuous efforts and arduous sacrifices .... A child, on the other hand, does not become weary with toil. He grows by working and, as a consequence, his work increases his energy."

從孩子開始協(xié)調(diào)他們的動作時，自律就開始了。起初，孩子的動作可能缺乏協(xié)調(diào)性。然后，隨著時間的推移，經(jīng)過不斷努力練習(xí)，孩子的動作會變得協(xié)調(diào)起來。自律是一種自我動作和欲望控制能力形成的結(jié)果。協(xié)調(diào)也能發(fā)展有意識的智力。孩子們變得自律的同時，也會變得更有能力，更有教養(yǎng)。

Discipline begins when children start to coordinate their movements. At first a child's movements may lack coordination. Then, in time, and after tremendous repetition, the child's movements become coordinated. Discipline is a result of an emerging ability to self-control movement and desire. Coordination also develops conscious intelligence. Children become more capable and educated as they become self-disciplined.

變得自律需要成人的支持和協(xié)助。而成人需要掌握新的知識和技能才能實現(xiàn)這個目標(biāo)。為此，成人必須：

Becoming self-disciplined requires supportand assistance from adults who may need to obtain new knowledge and skills. With respect to discipline, adults should:

1. 理解獲得自律需要自由；

2. 明白孩子在變得自律的過程中要經(jīng)歷的階段；

3. 為孩子提供必要和適當(dāng)?shù)闹笇?dǎo)；

4. 知道如何準(zhǔn)備適齡的環(huán)境。

1. Understand achieving discipline requires freedom;

2. Recognize the stages children grow through as they become disciplined;

3. Offer children necessary and appropriate guidance；

4. Know how to prepare age-appropriate environments.

1

紀(jì)律和自由

Discipline and Freedom

神奇的是，為了獲得真正的自由，紀(jì)律是必須的。自由不是指一個人想干什么就干什么，或是想什么時候干什么就干什么，自由不能被給予，因為它不是一種特權(quán)。相反，自由需要紀(jì)律。有了法律和規(guī)則，才有自由的存在。紀(jì)律讓人遵守法律和規(guī)則，是自由存在的必要條件。

Curiously, discipline is necessary for true freedom. Freedom is not doing whatever, and whenever, one feels like doing. Freedom cannot be given because freedom is not a privilege. Instead, freedom requires discipline. Freedom can only occur within laws and limits. Freedom requires discipline. Discipline, acting obediently with respect to laws and limits, is a necessary condition of freedom.

“當(dāng)一個人能掌控自己的時候，我就能說這個個體是實現(xiàn)了自律的人。因此，他能調(diào)整自己的行為，遵守人生的規(guī)則。這種動態(tài)紀(jì)律的概念不是那么容易理解或運(yùn)用的。但是，這肯定包含了一些教育的原則，不同于舊時代絕對的、不容討論的強(qiáng)制不變。”

"We call an individual disciplined when he is master ofhimself, and can, therefore, regulate his own conduct when it shall be necessary to follow some rule of life. Such a concept of active discipline is not easy either to comprehend or apply. But certainly it contains a great educational principle, very different for the old-time absolute and undiscussed coercion toimmobility."

為了讓孩子獲得自律，成人就必須為他們設(shè)定規(guī)則。然后，孩子可以在規(guī)則范圍內(nèi)努力發(fā)展自律。不受限制的行為會產(chǎn)生可怕的后果。確切地說，孩子們在建立內(nèi)心的控制力時會經(jīng)歷一番掙扎。除了規(guī)則，孩子還需要尊重。我們尊重每個孩子的獨(dú)特能力和潛能。就像蒙特梭利說的：這就需要我們理解孩子只有通過自律才能實現(xiàn)自己獨(dú)特的能力和潛能。

If children are to achieve self-discipline, the adults in their lives must define and maintain limits. Children can then work to develop self-discipline within the context of limits. The consequences of behaving without limits are dire; specifically, children will struggle to evolve inner control. In addition to limits, children require respect. We can respect each child's unique capabilities and potentials. And this requires, Montessori wrote, that we understand that children must become disciplined if they are to fulfill their unique capabilities and potentials.

“那么，完成后，我們會看到什么呢？”當(dāng)我們看到人類順從地實現(xiàn)了讓其獲得自由的和諧，我們看到這個過程充滿了喜悅……快樂可以被看作是和諧的普遍標(biāo)志，它可以告訴我們，我們正走在通往自由的道路上——例如，教育孩子就是這樣的一個過程。”

"And what do we see once all that is accomplished? When we see humanity realizing obediently the harmony that renders it free, we see it is full of joy .... Joy can be seen as a universal sign of harmony, and it may show us that we are on the road to freedom - for example, with regard to the child we would like to educate."

當(dāng)我們利用錯誤的經(jīng)驗教訓(xùn)教導(dǎo)孩子時，自由就開始了。我們通過展示或樹立榜樣來做到最好。對待物品，孩子們不能任著性子想怎么玩就怎么玩。他們不能在房間里亂扔、亂跑、亂叫、亂推或是傷害他人。所以，我們需要為孩子展示什么是正確的行為，包括：為孩子示范如何照顧自己、如何關(guān)心他人、怎么使用教具，甚至還包括如何照顧家庭、學(xué)校和其他環(huán)境。

Freedom begins when we teach children right from wrong. We do this best by showing or modeling. Children are not at liberty to use objects however they please. They may not throw, run through a room, scream, push, or hurt others. Instead, we must show children how to appropriately behave, and this should include showing children how to care for themselves, care for others, use the materials, and even how to care for home, school, and other environments.

2

階段：變得自律

Stages: Becoming Self-Disciplined

孩子們需要經(jīng)歷不同的階段才能走向自律。剛開始，他們的動作還處在無序階段，他們會掙扎著將注意力放在正在進(jìn)行的活動上；他們可能會三分鐘熱度，從一個活動很快換到另一個活動。這時孩子很容易被分心，他們被內(nèi)心的沖動支配著，一旦聽到或是看到一些事情，就立即想要去做。但是，這一天是會到來的：在這一天，幼小的他發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個活動，并且覺得自己無論如何也得去做這個活動。這個時候，孩子變得著迷了，不得不去探索。孩子的動作放慢了，并且變得不那么隨意了。孩子們能集中注意力的時候，他們自然而然就能探索某個物品或事件了。孩子通過實物思考，大人通過言語進(jìn)行思考。孩子們通過物品來發(fā)展記憶，理解力和推理能力。

Children grow through stages to achieve discipline. At first the movements of very young children are disorderly. They may struggle initially to focus and direct their attention to their activities. They may move from one activity to the next with perhaps a passing interest. These children distract easily; their impulses command. They hear or see something, and they want that. A day does come, however, when a young child finds a particular activity that she or he becomes compelled to work with. The child becomes captivated and has to investigate and explore the objects. The child's movements slow and become less random. When children can focus their attention, they naturally explore objects. A child thinks with objects; an adult thinks with words. Children use objects to develop memory, comprehension, and reasoning.

對一個活動的濃厚興趣會激發(fā)孩子對其他很多活動的興趣。這時，孩子們在工作的過程中會涉及大量的重復(fù)，當(dāng)然也需要精力集中。在這個階段，孩子們操作的物品必須精心制作。在每次重復(fù)的過程中，孩子們會從教具中找到感知上的不同之處，會發(fā)現(xiàn)模式和其中的關(guān)系，如：大小、顏色、形狀、數(shù)字或文字。他們理解差異、模式和關(guān)系的過程，也是發(fā)展智力的過程。

Profound and deep interest in one activity leads the child to take interest in many other activities. The child now works with considerable repetition and with concentration. At this stage, the objects children use must be carefully crafted. With each repetition children discover in the materials perceptual distinctions, patterns, and relationships such as size, color,shape, number, or letter. Intelligence develops as distinctions, patterns, and relationships become understood.

一段時間后，孩子的動作就變得越來越協(xié)調(diào)和精確。自律驅(qū)動著孩子進(jìn)行探究和學(xué)習(xí)。這存在很多的焦點(diǎn)和有目的的動作。注意力集中的時間長了后，孩子就會變得平和而快樂，他們不會感到疲憊。相反，他們會安靜而精力充沛，你能看出孩子不再具有攻擊性，也沒有明顯的或是隱藏的敵意，他們很寬容、很有禮貌。孩子變得自律，有了自立的能力。

In time the child's movements become increasingly coordinated andrefined, the acquisition of self-discipline enables the child to engage ininquiry, in learning. There is tremendous focus and with purposeful movements. After long periods of concentration, children become peaceful and pleased. They are not fatigued. Instead, children are clam and invigorated. There is a noted absence of aggression and covert or overt hostility. They are kind and courteous. The child has acquired discipline; the child is capable of self-reliance.

3

適當(dāng)?shù)某扇酥笇?dǎo)

Appropriate Adult Guidance

孩子要自律，就需要大人們停止將自己的意愿強(qiáng)加于孩子身上。蒙特梭利發(fā)現(xiàn)，被支配和屈從于大人的權(quán)威會導(dǎo)致不完美的發(fā)展。

The child's achievement of discipline requires adults refrain from imposing their will over children. Domination and submission to authority, Montessori discovered, result with an imperfect development.

“自由包括將孩子從成人的影響和依賴關(guān)系中解放出來，這種依賴極大地影響了他們的創(chuàng)造。為了給孩子自由，我們必須將他們從成人直接的影響中脫離出來，讓他們自發(fā)地獲得遵循內(nèi)在的本性。”

"Freedom consists of liberating children from adult influence and their dependence on the bond which has the greatest influence upon creation. To give children freedom we must free them from the direct adult influence in order that they may be spontaneously free with regard to the laws of their inner nature."

自律的孩子有著一些共同的特征：他們的動作有序；他們也更喜歡有秩序的環(huán)境；他們熱愛現(xiàn)實；他們保持著平和的喜悅；他們能做到堅持、獨(dú)立和主動。自律的孩子會少一些被動，他們會更有興趣去弄明白事物是如何工作的，而不是去占有。他們能仔細(xì)、小心地對待物品。

Self-disciplined children share certain characteristics. Their movements are ordered, and they tend to prefer orderly environments. They are attached to reality. They are quietly cheerful. They are persistent, and they are both independent and filled with initiative. Self-disciplined children become less possessive. They become more interested in understanding how something works instead of having to possess it. They treat objects carefully and delicately.

成人的角色是提供幫助和指導(dǎo)，他們?yōu)楹⒆诱故疽绾巫约鹤觥榱诉_(dá)到這個目標(biāo)，成人也需要理解如何為孩子們準(zhǔn)備環(huán)境。

The role of the adult is to assist and guide. They show children how to do for themselves. To do this, adults must also understand how to prepare an environment for children.

4

準(zhǔn)備好的環(huán)境

The Prepared Environment

一個準(zhǔn)備好的環(huán)境能取代成人的掌控。準(zhǔn)備好的環(huán)境是為孩子服務(wù)的，可以是家里的一間或是更多的房間，可以是戶外的空間，也可以是一間教室或是一個學(xué)校。

A prepared environment replaces adult control. The prepared environment is established for the children, and it may occupy one or more rooms in the home, the outdoors, or a classroom at a school.

一個準(zhǔn)備好的環(huán)境能提供許多適齡的、有意義的學(xué)習(xí)材料和活動。不管是在家里還是學(xué)校，這些都是以非常有序、非常有組織的形式呈現(xiàn)的。每個活動都有自己的籃子或盤子，整齊地排列在開放的架子上。因為孩子們通過物品來思考，成人必須克制通過口頭表達(dá)來給予解釋、命令、激勵和獎勵，因為這些會阻礙孩子實現(xiàn)內(nèi)在目的的發(fā)展。但是，成人必須設(shè)置一些基本的行為規(guī)則，如：不能亂跑、用完材料后必須物歸原位。

The prepared environment offers a number of age appropriate and meaningful learning materials and activities. At home, or in a school, these are presented in an orderly and organized manner. Each activity has its own basket or tray, and these are neatly arrayed on open shelves. Because children think with objects, adults must refrain from lengthy verbal explanations, directions,motivations, and rewards. Instead, these thwart children's intentions for purposeful development. However, adults do need to provide limits in the form of behavioral ground rules such as do not run or return materials to theirplaces on shelves.

一個提供協(xié)助的成人會向孩子展示如何使用教具。為孩子展示操作的過程，這既是在教孩子一個特定的概念或技能，也是在為孩子展示如何獨(dú)立地挑選和使用材料。這樣，孩子就能自由探索和探究教具，以滿足個人的興趣和發(fā)展需求。孩子們自由地挑選這些活動的時候，也在鍛煉做決策的能力。隨著孩子的成長和興趣的發(fā)展，新的活動逐漸會取代舊的活動。

An assisting adult shows children how to use the materials. The presentation is a lesson which both teaches the child a concept or skill and shows the child how to independently choose and use the materials. This allows children to then freely explore and investigate the materials to satisfy their personalinterests and needs. When children freely choose their activities, they also evolve their ability to make decisions. New activities replace older ones as children grow and their interests evolve.

有了做選擇的過程，孩子們的發(fā)展就更完整。選擇不是隨意的，也不是變化無常的。孩子們會選擇那些能滿足他們內(nèi)心需求和學(xué)習(xí)目的的活動，孩子們會選擇自律。獲得了自律的孩子會表現(xiàn)出更強(qiáng)的毅力。孩子第一次集中注意力的時候，他們會重復(fù)使用這個教具，長此以往，重復(fù)就成了一種完成自發(fā)活動的習(xí)慣。

Children develop more completely when they make choices. A choice is neither random nor capricious. Children seek to choose activities that satisfy their inner needs and learning purposes. Children choose discipline. Children who have achieved discipline demonstrate a tremendous ability for perseverance. When children first concentrate, they use a material repeatedly. In time, repetition becomes a habit of completing self-initiated activity.

自律是一個出發(fā)點(diǎn)，擁有自律的孩子渴望成為一個完整的人，這也是適齡的，在小學(xué)階段，孩子會自然而然地想要知道所有事情，而到了青春期，孩子自然而然就想要做一些產(chǎn)生社會效應(yīng)的經(jīng)濟(jì)決定。

Acquired self-discipline is a point of departure. The selfdisciplined child desires to become a complete person. This too is age appropriate. During the elementary school years, children naturally want to know everything. During the adolescent years, children naturally want to make economic decisions that lead to social contributions.

作者簡介

Dr. Paul Epstein

兒童之家國際蒙特梭利培訓(xùn)中心總監(jiān)、Etonkids蒙特梭利教師培訓(xùn)學(xué)院講師

KAIMC Director, EMTTA Instructor

Paul Epstein 博士是一位著名的蒙特梭利教育專家和國際演講人。在蒙特梭利教育領(lǐng)域，從事管理、教學(xué)、研究、咨詢服務(wù)和寫作等工作。曾任羅切斯特蒙特梭利學(xué)院校長，特蘭西瓦尼亞大學(xué)副教授和西北大學(xué)兼職教授。他向教育工作者和家長們分享具有改革意義的學(xué)習(xí)經(jīng)驗與方法。他很感激自己的工作能提供大量的機(jī)會去觀察孩子與家長，這些經(jīng)歷也激發(fā)了他無限的靈感，幫助他積累了豐富的經(jīng)驗和素材，他的目標(biāo)是將自己的教育經(jīng)驗分享給更多人，幫助老師和家長完善學(xué)習(xí)環(huán)境。

Dr. Paul Epstein is an international speaker and Montessori Education Expert. He works in Montessori education as an administrator, teacher, researcher, consultant, and author. He was Head of School of the Rochester Montessori School, an associate professor at Transylvania University, and adjunct professor at Northwestern University. He provides transformative learning experiences to educators and parents. He is grateful that his work offers tremendous opportunities to observe children and adults as they learn. These experiences provide him with both inspiration and data to share, engage, and help teachers and parents. Paul's goal is to help them bring about transformative learning in their environments.